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Are live in relationship better than marriage? : Group Discussion Topics, Tips, Ideas - Page 2

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 Post subject: marriage stuffs
PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:08 pm 
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wel very very interesting topic to ponder upon.... i respect every ones view and its all matter of how we perceive thinngs ..right freinds?
i feellive in reationship is not the right thing unless both the persons are ready to face the consequnces if it doesnt succeed.Ours is a country where the culture nad traditon has lot of values and we simply cannot neglect it saying ITS MY LIFE. i know lot of people have this attitute but than waht about the person who is from a respectable famly will he be able to sustain this kin dof realtion.Are not there better ways to know each other.. rahter than just staying up and its bound that both will share physical reltionship.I dont want site any eg of movies here as i beleive we need to be more parctical in this approach. What if have a live in relationshp for 5 months or for that matter 2 years and after that they say they arenot compatible with each other and the chemisrty does work out for them.Its absurd,well agin love marriage for fot thast matter arrange mariage will succeed is not soemthing which is bound to happen,but yes there is a sense of responsilblity and the charm of a marriage life.Well i can go on on and on but the bottomline is the maturity the ley word which will plays a role in such relationships
Tnks


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:20 am 
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shilpashreehr wrote:
Hi ppl,

Wow!! I'm really very surprised to see the views on this topic .. everybody agrees that live - in is ok as long as they get married at the end .. just like in salaam namaste right?? Saif does propose to her at the end ..

I don't know if u ppl realised but, "the society" that everybody is referring to is u and me .. if we stop commenting / looking down upon ppl who are in a live - in relationship and accept them .. then soceity accepts them ..

Someone here spoke about prostitution .. so if one were to get married and had extra - marital affairs .. is it more respectable than a live -in relationship ? ..

If it is issues about security and support system .. i do agree marriage is better off at most times since u have a family to fall back upon .. (2 in fact .. both parents and in-laws) .. But then, "society" looks down upon love marriages too .. so is that wrong / bad?

And please ppl, don't limit Indian culture to a sari - clad woman with sindhoor on her forehead and mangalsutra round her neck, waiting with a pooja thali on karva chauth for her husband ..

Indian culture is infinitely greater than that .. its about respect, care , love, open hearts and minds .. We need to respect the other person's views and choice ..

That said, it does not mean i consider it great and that everybody should follow it .. it is an individual's choice .. And as far as kids are concerned .. parents shud take care of their kids .. whether they are married or not .. that is a different issue all together ..

Someone said security and name for the relationship .. what security do u get in marriage and i presume we are talking about security for women here ..

financial .. today women earn enough to sustain themselves .. lots of families in India are supported by the woman's earnings ..

emotional .. if the husband does not care .. where is the security? family.. but the same problem can be seen in love marriages too, where the families refuse to accept them ..

i can't think of any other ..

name .. i really don't think that will matter .. how do you know a couple is not married unless they tell you .. relationships are about care, love and commitment .. not names ..

i know its a pretty long story here :wink: ... but i wanted to bring all these points across ... and another thing .. i'm not in a live - in relationship .. so i'm not defending myself .. :D



ma'am u wrote one complete essay and finally agreed to me... thank yu for tht

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:30 am 
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sanjeev.sk wrote:
so guys what a way to kno each other...thatz really absurd...dont u kno your partner well in simple love marriages....??????
well many r of the opinion that itz ok 2 have a live in relationship as long as u get married...but what we r actually discussing is if live in relationships r better than marriage?
Is the drastic step of having sex so important to know ur partner well?? would u never feel guilty in ur future, 4 having done so??What if the relationship does not culiminate in a marriage....and the the livin partners get married to other individuals???Now in context to our esteemed culture....what if the children of such marriages get to kno in later life that one or both of their parents had sex before marriage with some other partners...???Why only the child, wud u have a face to show to ur husband/wife if he/she getz to kno this...???
Well there r many other ways to kno ur partner in a much better way than have a live in relationship...There can only be one purpose of havin such a relationship ....viz ...satisfying lust...and temporary fun...

HATS OFF very rightly said .. i fully agree.. offcourse live in relationship are no way comparable to marriage... but then scrap love marriage too.... carry out operation majnu in every nook and corner of the country coz if ur kid feels bad by knowing tht his dad have had pre marital sex wid some other gal... ur kid will definitely feel sad by knowing the fact tht his father used to sit for long hours in park wid some other gal in objectionable positions...ur kid wud also mind tht his father was having a friend who was a gal(coz a guy and a gal can never be JUST friends... and ur kid is cleaver enuf to get this idea soon)ur kid will also feel very bad if he ever comes to kno tht his father was some day involved in some eve teasing...and doesnt kno how to respect women.....
SIRjeeee aap eutopian world ki baat kar rahe ho... its better we live ppl to lead their life and stop interfering in their personal life.... thts the only solution... ur culture is wht u make it.... and thts tru..

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:17 pm 
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Location: bangalore
I think these two things are not only different sides of the coin but they are entirely different coins.... how can something as pure as marriege be compared with such a malignous thing like live-in relationships..... well its a matter of personal choice.. but i do think marraige not only brings with it the commitment of 2 persons living together but it also involves a number of other persons who are already there like your parents and the persons who are yet to come... well i think the basic motive of live-in relationship is to know your partners living habits... ofcourse it includes sex.. its like a trial offer.. use the product and if it dosent satisfy you take your money back... but do you think it works with humans.. will anyone ever be able to repay the time i spend with my partner.. will anyone be able to turn the clock back...the answer is a resounding NO.... well what if one likes the other and the other one is already bored...will it not lead to more turmoil in life of the other person.. just the thought of u not being able to satisfy a person is enuf to screw up rest of your life...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:40 pm 
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Kidd wrote:
HATS OFF very rightly said .. i fully agree.. offcourse live in relationship are no way comparable to marriage... but then scrap love marriage too.... carry out operation majnu in every nook and corner of the country coz if ur kid feels bad by knowing tht his dad have had pre marital sex wid some other gal... ur kid will definitely feel sad by knowing the fact tht his father used to sit for long hours in park wid some other gal in objectionable positions...ur kid wud also mind tht his father was having a friend who was a gal(coz a guy and a gal can never be JUST friends... and ur kid is cleaver enuf to get this idea soon)ur kid will also feel very bad if he ever comes to kno tht his father was some day involved in some eve teasing...and doesnt kno how to respect women.....
SIRjeeee aap eutopian world ki baat kar rahe ho... its better we live ppl to lead their life and stop interfering in their personal life.... thts the only solution... ur culture is wht u make it.... and thts tru..


hey buddy...scrap love marriages??????!!!!!!!!!!!!When it is agreed that culture is what we make it......Is'nt love an important part of marriage as regards to any culture(human offcourse)????And when we speak of love marriages we strictly speak of "marriages"..and not flirting in a park ....so no question of shame here.....as the couple in love gets married (amongst each other and not other individuals....since they love each other and not someone else)
And hello...culture is not what an individual makes it ....itz made by the society as a whole....and its ony because the society interfers in personal lives that we have cultures all over....so however hard u try the society will always interfere....and this is the tendency that makes it the society....
So u may lead ur own life as u wish ...but when it(ur way of life) effects ur society by any means it becomes a social issue....so u r always free to have a livin relationship if u find it helpful in finding a partner(after all we r a free nation).....I was never against neone choosing his or her own way of life (nor am i now)......I had ony raised a few questions up for discussion ...also beware of the society and our culture which we have made over the last 5000 years.....and thats also tru...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:15 pm 
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i dont see anything wrong in a live in relation ship ...now a days couples opting for divorce at athe sanp of fingers ..goign thru the emotinal trauma or fighting a case ..setelling for maintainace and fighting over the custody of the child..atleast a live in relives u from all t his pain..a person can opt out of the relation if they discover they no longer compatible with each other....women and men being on the same lpatform now a days feel that the other must equally contribute to making a marriage work (and this is generally not happening) . as far as kids are concerned some of u have mentioned that a kid born out of te wed lock will have detrimental effects....well i beg to difer here coz comparing them to kids of a divorced couple they would be much better off as they would not have encounterd grusesome court proceeeings.bitter fights and events that would just steal their childhod from them


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 5:57 pm 
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hi freinds
i think we should get over with this topic . everyone has made useful contribution to it. and after reading eveyones view we can conclude that living reltionship should not exist. There are lot more topics to discuss upon. just my view if u all still want to discuss more than go ahead.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:55 pm 
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well, i think its all about how you look at it.
it's important for each one of us to comfortable with what we are doing.However, what is more important is to find someone who thinks the same way . Although i am personally not in favour of live in relationships i know that a lot of people prefer such relationships because it helps them know their partners' inside out before they get into wedlock. there are so many mannerisms, habits that don't come out during courtship because at this time your partner is at his/ her best to impress you. It is only when you start living with that person and seeing him more often in a day , start sharing the same roof, having 2-3 square meals a day with him or her do you get know the persons mannerisms,etc. which might not have caught your eye in all these years of courtship. i think this argument put forward by people in favour of live ins is a very logical way of looking at things because it is better to part as friends if you realise that you are not suited for one another than marrying your biggest mistake and spending the rest of your life repenting. However, you must be comfortable with a live in relationship in the first place and if you aren't there's no sense at all in going ahead with something just to please your partner.


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